“If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” – Anne Lamott
In therapy yesterday with my husband’s CSAT/our joint counselor the therapist asked why I call my husband The Player on the blog. He said “The Player” is derogatory and that he wished I would change it. When I contorted my face a little bit, he said something like, “just a suggestion because it’s negative.”
When he asked about the moniker I immediately felt defensive. I was all (in my head and some of my words), “DUDE, I get to call him whatever the fuck I want to. If he didn’t want to be called The Player he should’ve treated me better. He did play me, after all. When he does something better with himself then maybe I won’t call him that anymore.”
I had to follow-up with something electronically and he gently asked me to come up with some alternate labels for The Player. I sent the following:
“The Player could be…
Now: The Participant
Hopefully one day:
Mr. True Blue
When I sent him that note he said he’d be interested in the range of labels that I could make for myself now and into the future.
“You mean besides The Awesome?” I answered. I meant that, honestly. What else could we call me? <<< Not tongue in cheek.
Then I proceed to come up with a few more:
The Played (sigh)
The Participant (I am too)
I told him I wanted to add Mrs. Stamina but I lack the patience gene.
I also said, thanks for challenging me, but I’m fine with calling him The Player right now. He did play me and a lot of other people. He led us all to believe he was a caring, devoted, steadfast, loyal person and husband and we all know that wasn’t true. He does admit he misled us and I very much felt played, thankyoueverymuch.
So why does it bother me that the therapist has an opinion about this very thing? Probably because I trust him and respect his opinion. I do think, however, since we get to make our choices that make us feel best, it’s okay to take their suggestions under advisement. I’ve done that and his current moniker remains.
If you think about it, I was sort of nicer than I wanted to be with the Moniker. The blog could have very easily been called MarriedtoaMutherfucker.Wordpress.com because the moniker Muterfucker certainly sits well with me today.
Next post up? Our Thursday Talk.
Related: same shit, different fucking day.