One of the most unfair things (damn there are a lot to choose from, hence me saying one of the most…) about moving forward with a cheater/liar/sex addict in true recovery is the difference in our worlds of healing.
The Player gets more joy. In fact, he has stated several times in recent weeks he has never been so happy in his life.
I get to process grief and pain. I have never felt such pain in my life.
The Player gets to celebrate freedom from a life shame and secrecy.
I get to figure out how to live without shame and the knowledge that the person I trusted most put my emotional and physical well being at risk.
The Player gets to feel pride and accomplishment at his progress, growth, and newfound insightfulness.
I get to figure out how to end my suffering, accept what he’s done so I can move on and heal and let’s not forget, to keep the family together.
The Player feels better about his life.
I feel worse about my life.
The Player points out that now though, I get to have a partner who “is happy and more engaged with life.”
Well, okay then. I feel so much better.