I recently caught The Player in white lie.
white lie – noun – a harmless or trivial lie, especially one told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
Intellectually I know that probably the above is true. He didn’t want to tell me, first, to avoid an annoying conversation I would have been slightly upset about and second, because the woman this white lie involved wasn’t on any lists. Not the fucked list, not the want to fuck list or even the trolling for fantasy list. So while she isn’t fuckable-worthy of The Player, she is on the list of women that has fed needs for ego kibbles for close to 20 years. Well, all women are, of course.
The Player doesn’t get to be friends with women anymore. He abused the privilege. Forever.
The white lie is probably nothing, I honestly believe that. However, he is supposed to be telling the truth about everything. Early on his therapist said that is what he should strive for. Sex addicts by nature, are liars. They do it a little and it pays off and so they start doing it for reasons you’d think are ridiculous. They do it because it’s easier. It pays off somehow. For The Player, it’s because he likes to avoid any conflict and also because lying can sometimes make him look better. It gives him something.
“Sex Addicts” or chronic cheaters are nothing if not selfish. It’s hard for The Player to get out of that ingrained behavior and thinking. It’s not an excuse, just an explanation.
I’m going to give it a couple of days. I’m going to ask again – I guess like a test – to see if he takes the gentle way out of this white lie. If he doesn’t tell the truth on this, it’s likely it’ll set me back a little because it will trigger memories of him contacting the last whore after his deception was discovered. Lies, lies, lies.
This is my new shitty reality. Realizing my life will always be impacted by the smallest white lies.