There isn’t a way to detach from the chaos of the “sex addict” and hang on to the marriage. It is not possible for me because in order to detach from the addict I have to back out of a lot of discussions that could benefit the marriage.
I have a lot of things to say and The Player was right, they are bubbling to the surface waiting to explode in his fucking face. I have a lot of questions still about the timeline of the affairs and some details of the affairs and the people, most of which I knew or knew were work colleagues. I want a few more details, mostly on timing and money.
I’m detached now mostly from discussions, except for a therapy visit a couple of times a mont and don’t feel I can ask him about details anymore. Then, I remember a condition of his staying in the home was to work a 12-step program and I don’t think by definition he is “working” is very hard. He goes to weekly meetings and has only reached out to his sponsor three times that I know of in four months although they do see each other weekly at a meeting but not before or after as to work on any of the steps.
Do I have the right to find out what is happening with his 12-step program of recovery? Or is that crossing the line of detaching that I’ve put in place?